"Been thinking and dwelling on a lot of things last night...actually had me in tears (and that's almost impossible for me). First off, I feel like it's time to call it quits for certain friendships. It's bad when out of your best friends from high school, one is dead from being murdered, one's in prison for bad choices, and one is on drugs (who knows how bad). It breaks my heart because I totally w
rote off the one who is now dead
because of his choices to let drugs ruin his life, and now he's dead
because of it. But how long are you supposed to try and help when they
don't want it?How are you supposed to stick around when they don't treat
you like a real friend? Secondly, I've grown sick of those ones who
"claim" to be my "friend" but you never hear from them and they really
don't give a rat's ass about me. They can claim that communication works
both ways, but I'm so done with trying to make an effort only to get
ignored by them. That proves that you're not really a friend. If I have
unintentionally done this to anybody, you have my fullest apologies.
Third, I'm beyond sick of being passed up by females and getting fed
that same line of bs "I only think of you as a friend". Then they fall
for some jerk that treats them like shit, dumps their ass, then they
wanna whine and complain about how there are no good men out there.
THERE ARE BUT YOU CHOOSE NOT TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE. The very definition
of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over expecting a different
result". And so tired of being led on (who know exactly who you are)
Fourth, I'm so tired of living the kind of life that people around here
think I should live. Ever since I moved back from California, I've
regretted it (but I had to and had no place to go). People around here
let their jobs define them and I've been brainwashed into thinking that
it's stupid to chase your dream, that you should only work. Now I'm dead
inside because of it. Working a job I absolutely cannot stand because
it's the status quo. Fifth, dealing with bipolar disorder and the
depression that comes with it is hard. People don't understand and don't
want to be around you because you're "depressed all the time". Well if
you can't be there for me during my worst, then you don't deserve to be
there for my best. So I've come to a life-changing decision: it is time
for this cat to move far away from this place. A new location, a fresh
perspective, a new set of best friends, women who actually value how
good of a man that I am, nightlife and culture, opportunities and a
chance to actually succeed, and finally achieve some happiness. I'm not
running away from my problems, just eliminating the negative from my
life. Oh and if any of what I've said offends you, do us both a favor
and unfriend me (because you're not a real friend anyway). I refrain..."
Hope you guys can see what I face on an everyday basis. Thank you.
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